Random thoughts on diabetes and life

I haven't posted in a while. Life without diabetes was busy, but with it, it's relentless. Here are just some random thoughts and occurrences from the last couple of weeks.
*God is good. He didn't give my child diabetes; that's just part of our fallen world. But He had provided for us in countless ways, some even YEARS in advance. One example: several years ago, Jason was a bit of a job drifter. He was struggling to find his next career. He tried selling insurance for a while. Because of that, Seth has a life insurance policy that can be converted to an individual policy when he becomes an adult. No medical questions. Wow!
*Seth has an escape. When he is playing his drums, he isn't thinking about diabetes. So I let him drum away. It also helps with his blood sugar. It's always lower after he had been drumming a while. I don't have an escape yet; I am ALWAYS thinking about it. So I am a little jealous and that makes me feel guilty. He is the one that has to live with it every second of his life. He deserves a few minutes every day when he isn't thinking about it.

*People ask frequently how Seth is doing and if his numbers have stabilized. It's really hard to explain over and over that there's no such thing for a type 1. His numbers will ALWAYS fluctuate wildly. I really appreciate people asking how he is doing. Really. It shows they care. But there is no short answer to that question. I usually just say that his attitude about it is amazing and leave it at that unless it's someone who truly wants to know the whole answer.
*I have realized that the amount of insulin he needs isn't an indication of how good a job we are doing. His body needs what it needs. Period. No shame or anything negative in increasing his dose. It's literally life support.
*Sometimes there is a pattern in the numbers, sometimes there's not. I look for patterns almost obsessively, hoping to figure it out. I am learning from parents that have been doing this much longer than I have that there sometimes is no rhyme or reason to the numbers. Treat the number and move on.
*We got Team Seth awareness bracelets. I think it has really helped him to see how many people are standing behind him in this fight. If you have said you wanted one and haven't gotten it yet, I will send them as soon as I can. My intentions were to have them mailed already, but getting to the post office is hard when they are only open during school hours.

*Yes, every conversation I have these days revolves around diabetes. Be patient with me. I will eventually be able to have regular conversations again. I have been told that, so I am choosing to believe it. We were told to give everything 6 months; it has been just over 3.
Like I said, pretty random thoughts. That's how life has been recently. It will get better.